Mr & Mrs Perky

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Recollection - Part 3 (Bringing Baby Home)

Here's a warning to mothers-to-be: Don't be fooled into thinking you have an angel in your hands simply because your baby was voted best behaved in the nursery by the nurses!  My little angel gave me a really tough time in the first month.  On hindsight though, I think my own anxiety certainly didn't help the situation.  The first month and a half were truly the toughest time I've experienced in my life (yes, it trumped the enema).  I was exhausted, in pain (thanks to the clots in my uterus that needed to be removed twice - once without painkillers and the second, under GA) and experiencing the dreaded post-natal blues.  Every day was a challenge.  It didn't help that Nate was crying frequently.  I never realized just how much a baby's cry (particularly your own) would affect me.  I think some mothers would react by getting angry and well, I just got really sad.  I remember thinking that he was crying because he wasn't getting enough milk but at the same time, stubbornly refusing to start him on formula.

All my years as a mental health professional helped - marginally.  Well, at least I was able to identify very quickly that I was suffering from the blues.  No amount of reframing helped the situation though :) It took me by surprise given all the physical and emotional help I was getting.  Perky was awesome.  He had (and still has) so much on his plate and yet, he was there with me and for me every single step of the way.  Sometimes I look at him and I get emotional because I think about how amazingly selfless he has been.  It's been close to 4 months now and he still insists on waking up whenever I wake up to feed/ change Nate.  So I'm glad that Nate has been on a more sane schedule over the last month!  Apart from my sister (who was very supportive during this period), two other persons that made a difference were HJ and GO.  HJ responded to all of my inane smses and she assuaged my fears and worries about everything from breastfeeding to sticky eyes.  GO surprised me.  None of the usual sarcasm, jokes and random comments but was kind and very insightful!  I guess it helped that both of them are parents to 2 kids each.

Given my rookie status as a parent, I remember how excited I was that I was going to have a baby over the holidays - what an idiot!  All that happened was Christmas and New Year celebrations were a complete and utter washout.  I didn't even care to put on nice clothes and was just too exhausted.  This was pretty depressing seeing that I LOVE Christmas-time.

Things turned around when Nate was about 2 to 2.5 months - my mood lifted and everything became okay.   What a ride!      


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