Recollection - Part 3 (Bringing Baby Home)

Here's a warning to mothers-to-be: Don't be fooled into thinking you have an angel in your hands simply because your baby was voted best behaved in the nursery by the nurses!  My little angel gave me a really tough time in the first month.  On hindsight though, I think my own anxiety certainly didn't help the situation.  The first month and a half were truly the toughest time I've experienced in my life (yes, it trumped the enema).  I was exhausted, in pain (thanks to the clots in my uterus that needed to be removed twice - once without painkillers and the second, under GA) and experiencing the dreaded post-natal blues.  Every day was a challenge.  It didn't help that Nate was crying frequently.  I never realized just how much a baby's cry (particularly your own) would affect me.  I think some mothers would react by getting angry and well, I just got really sad.  I remember thinking that he was crying because he wasn't getting enough milk but at the same time, stubbornly refusing to start him on formula.

All my years as a mental health professional helped - marginally.  Well, at least I was able to identify very quickly that I was suffering from the blues.  No amount of reframing helped the situation though :) It took me by surprise given all the physical and emotional help I was getting.  Perky was awesome.  He had (and still has) so much on his plate and yet, he was there with me and for me every single step of the way.  Sometimes I look at him and I get emotional because I think about how amazingly selfless he has been.  It's been close to 4 months now and he still insists on waking up whenever I wake up to feed/ change Nate.  So I'm glad that Nate has been on a more sane schedule over the last month!  Apart from my sister (who was very supportive during this period), two other persons that made a difference were HJ and GO.  HJ responded to all of my inane smses and she assuaged my fears and worries about everything from breastfeeding to sticky eyes.  GO surprised me.  None of the usual sarcasm, jokes and random comments but was kind and very insightful!  I guess it helped that both of them are parents to 2 kids each.

Given my rookie status as a parent, I remember how excited I was that I was going to have a baby over the holidays - what an idiot!  All that happened was Christmas and New Year celebrations were a complete and utter washout.  I didn't even care to put on nice clothes and was just too exhausted.  This was pretty depressing seeing that I LOVE Christmas-time.

Things turned around when Nate was about 2 to 2.5 months - my mood lifted and everything became okay.   What a ride!      

b.

Mini Civil Servants?

It was Bring Your Kids to Work day yesterday and while Nate was just dragged to my office and back, it was nice to bring the husband around finally.  Not that there was anything exciting to see in an office full of cubicles.  Nate was amazingly quiet - not a peep!  One of my colleagues described him as "zen-like".  I guess he has his moments:)  Either that or he feels at home in that staid building.  A civil servant in the making?  Er.....

This event signifies the end of my term as the Staff Welfare Chairperson and I must say, I'm really glad it's over!  I remember how tough it was to get things going when I first started - particularly in terms of getting the team to band together.  But it happened and I really appreciate every single member (some more, some less!) and it's nice to have shared the experience with them.

Speaking of work, my maternity leave has come to an end and I'll be starting work tomorrow :( I guess I'm just feeling apprehensive about getting back into the swing of things after such a long break and more importantly, having  to deal with missing Nate when I'm in the office.  Especially since he is becoming super adorable with his laughter and all the little new things that he is starting to do.  And the thought that I won't be there to experience a number of these 'firsts' bug me.  But I'm so glad that he'll be in very good hands.

My mum has an amazing amount of love for her grandkids and Nate is certainly no exception.  She loves him so much and she actually misses him when she doesn't see him for a day!  I'm awed by the amount of energy she has in taking care of the 3 musketeers (Nate, Ethan & Isaac) and the rest of the family.  I'm in my thirties and I already have aches and pains lah!  And I suppose it really helps that Mary is around and who loves the kids so much as well.    

Apart from my date with the helpdesk folks (I've been booted out of the network), here's to hoping for a (somewhat) smooth day at work tomorrow!

b.

Some recents pixs of Nate

Feeling pretty tired today! Anyway, although I have tons of interesting pictures to share, I can't upload them yet coz they are in our Fujitsu camera and apparently the XD card is not compatible with the MacBook.  So I'm uploading pictures from my iPhone.

Nate's baptism & MG's lil Joshua

Nate's baptism service is next Sunday and the husband and I had to attend a compulsory session at church. By and large, it was a really meaningful session that covered the meaning of baptism as well as the responsibilities of Christian parents (built on a foundation of a loving marriage and putting Him first in everything we do as a family). It's going to be tough raising a child but I am looking forward to it. All I know is, I'm sure I'll embarrass my child with hugs and kisses till he is old enough to tell me to stop malu-ing him:)

The only lousy part of the session was when the pastor spoke about how the Church has been saddened over the last few days with the death of a 4-month old baby from SIDS:( Of course, that got me down coz I put myself in the shoes of the baby's parents. It must be the worse possible thing for any parent to experience.

The only wonderful thing that happened last week was that MG finally delivered lil Joshua after 2 days of pre-labour dramas! Joshua was born on the 3rd of March and like all newborns, was so adorable:) Certainly brought back very recent memories! I also saw pics of KI's newborn as well - so cute! That's 3 psychs who gave birth one after the other and another one due very soon!

A depressing week

It has been a pretty crappy week.

Apart from the initial (and normal) uncertainties of breastfeeding, things have been going swimmingly. Unfortunately, over the last week, I've been experiencing every breastfeeding moms' nightmare - a diminishing milk supply:( I guess I didn't know any better and got pretty lazy with expressing and I guess my body learnt that I didn't need much even though my lil fella's demand was increasing. Well, at least that's one of my pd's explanation (Nate has a pd who specializes in allergies and a regular pd!) and now remedial action is producing very slow results! So, the husband and I had to make the unhappy decision of buying formula milk last wednesday. So far, we've had to use it once.

I had planned to breastfeed for at least 6 months, so this has been a tough thing to deal with. Everyday is a stressful ride of wondering if I can produce enough for the day or if I would need to supplement with formula. The allergist explained that in babies with allergies, breastfeeding for at least 4 months is recommended (19 days more!). But, she was also quick to reassure me not to worry if things didn't work out. Motherhood is tough!

b.

New Gadgets :)

Yesterday was an exciting day! The husband got his new car - a lovely Chevy Cruze and I got my MacBook:) It's so fancy :) My old Toshiba (may it's soul rest in peace) died a slow death. I had it for so many years and I got a measly $100 for it! Oh well, better than no money. Actually, this is the first laptop I bought for myself - imagine, at this age!

I also started exercising yesterday:) Played badminton for about an hour and strangely, my body didn't hurt after. I guess taking care of a baby has kinda strengthened my body. I really need to hassle Lily to play badminton with me regularly when I'm back at work. Need to lose the flabby bits!!

I'm so excited for MG - she's gonna have a baby soon! Hopefully, it isn't gonna be a protracted process. My prayers with you, my dear! Can't wait to see your lil fella!

b.

Lil Nate's 3 months old :)

Nate turned 3 months old today and it's true what my friends with kids said to me in the crazy first month - that the situation gets A LOT better when the baby hits the 3rd month. It has been much easier (and less stressful) since the little fella hit the 10th week mark. He actually got into a schedule, of sorts. And the husband and I understand 90% of his cries.

I've been reading to him since he was 10 weeks old and I hope he continues to enjoy reading as he gets older. Apart from his first bible, I've been reading 'Fly Away Ladybug' (cool book!). Increasingly he has been putting stuff into his mouth and especially loves to 'eat' his fingers!

I'll be going back to work on the 19th March. While I'm anxious about not being with Nate for greater than 2 hours at a stretch, I'm also looking forward to going back to work. I have been feeling somewhat bored, honestly. Although I'm sure that when I'm back, I'll want to stay home with the kid! We'll see how that goes. I've always wondered how my neighbour - a SAHM with 3 kids - spends her days without getting bored. I guess it's something that you get used to after a while.